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wow it's been a while [Aug. 31st, 2006|02:11 pm]
[mood |energeticenergetic]
[music |panic! at the disco]

since i played volleyball. about 2 yrs. but i'm takin a volleyball class at the college and 2day was our first day of real playin. it was SOOOO much fun!!! can't believe i managed to go this long w/o playing it everyday! well...not like i'll be playin it everyday anyway, but twice a week is still great! :-D lol i've got tons of energy at the moment from the workout-i'm practically bouncin off the walls. today was basics (which really wasn't needed cuz 99% of the people have played b4) and then we broke up into teams and played 2 games! my team lost both, but they were very close matches. it was great though! i like the people in my class, a few of 'em are REALLY good! and there's 5 guys in there, which is cool. this one guy matthew (he was on my team 2day) has a KILLER serve and his spikes are equally impressive. on the whole, i think this class will be my favorite, and i can't wait until tuesday to play again!!! oh, and i'm thinkin of playin on their club team (have to check with work and see if i can get off) which has games every thursday and practice on tuesdays (which means i get even more volleyball in one day!!!! woo hoo!). lol ok so i'm sure ur tired of hearin about volleyball, so i'll end this. hope u have a great day! i know i did ;)
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libba bray! [Apr. 29th, 2006|02:17 am]
ya i got to meet libba bray! :-D that was pretty much the coolest thing ever! houston was really fun....and i got tons of free books!!! yay! lol not to mention us book club girls had a blast! haha the late night goofin off was the best......seein shannan(random) fly through the air after jess(drama) tickled her. :-P or carrie(lost)always missin the conversation and havin no idea what we were talkin about. and of course emily (doll) freakin out over bein tickled....haha and me (trouble) gettin thrown against a wall after shannan got tickled....mrs dobbins (dobby) and her drivin skillz.....missin the entrance to the hotel after braggin how good she was at drivin. lmao it was all super fun and i'd do it again in a heartbeat. especially the meetin libba bray part. lol although it definately seemed like we were stalkin her....we talked to her a few times and it was great! even got a picture with her. definately an experience i won't forget. ever :-D
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lol i already knew this [Mar. 17th, 2006|08:32 pm]
You scored as agnosticism. You are an agnostic. Though it is generally taken that agnostics neither believe nor disbelieve in God, it is possible to be a theist or atheist in addition to an agnostic. Agnostics don't believe it is possible to prove the existence of God (nor lack thereof).

Agnosticism is a philosophy that God's existence cannot be proven. Some say it is possible to be agnostic and follow a religion; however, one cannot be a devout believer if he or she does not truly believe.




















Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com</table>
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everythin... [Jan. 30th, 2006|07:54 pm]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Fevers and Mirrors-Bright Eyes]

is so completely screwed up right now. my family...is being torn apart.

dad is movin to houston...never see him anymore...and when i do i'm ignored. u ever ignored by ur parents? especially the one u used to be extremely close to??? not a good feelin i promise. seems like everythin is somehow my fault...or at least that's what he's makin it out to be.

things with my mom are improving....after a FUN day but HORRIBLE night...my mom and i sat down to talk...and i poured my guts about my feelings concerning family...and how things r screwed...and how i feel just empty inside....and now...idk she's startin to understand. startin to treat me a little nicer....decided to once again fight back when my dad talks shit to me. she's my hero. :)

things with my brother.....eh....varies daily. some days we're cool...others...not so much. i have yet to talk to him about it...so it's not his fault. doesn't know any better.

but i just wanted to let everyone know....that my home life...isn't the greatest at the moment. i wish i knew how to explain things better...i just....don't know how. hmm....ok...see for me all this is just....devastating...not because it's absolutely horrible or nethin...there r people who go through far worse i know. it's just...this is as bad as it's EVER been in my family. ya times have been tough b4...but don't think this bad. so for ME.....it's hard. very hard. i know i've had a pretty good life...so sorry if u don't care about any of this. i'm not asking u to. i don't want nor do i need sympathy. these blogs r just for me to get my thoughts down.....and for FRIENDS to read this to better understand me....

so that's what's goin on in my life right now. so if i seem down or distant....that's y. just got a lot on my mind....and very little to smile about these days.
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i'm done [Jan. 17th, 2006|12:35 am]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |Deja Entendu-Brand New]

i'm done. done fighting...done playin their little game. i'm fuckin tired of the shit they put me through. ok here r today's events.

my father has taken it upon himself to "borrow" my car. he's takin his truck in and decided it'd be best if i just went without a car for a couple days. WTF i need my car. it's too much of an inconvenience for me to be without one. and he's all like "u can find a ride..get someone to take u..no big deal." so i decide to throw it back in his face and told him to do the same. but OH NO that's just not possible...hypocrit. grrr...so i go with him to drop his car off...and give him a ride home...ya know to be nice (cuz my mom could've done it). and everythin was all nice...good on the way there...and then on the way back..all hell broke loose. ok so here's how i drive....not that whole 10 & 2 crap..but with windows rolled down...left arm out window...right hand on top of steering wheel....i'm a good driver. no accidents or tickets for me. yay. and both my parents know how i drive..and haven't said anythin about it b4. so we're like 2 minutes from the house....almost in the neighborhood...when he just turns to me and all of a sudden screams in my face "THIS IS BULLSHIT!!! Y R U DRIVIN SO FUCKIN STUPID DRIVE THE CORRECT WAY OR I'LL TAKE AWAY UR FUCKIN KEYS AND U'LL NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN!!!" i was in shock...like wtf where did this come from? there was no warnin...no nothin...just all of a sudden screaming. (see people, this is what i'm talkin about when he takes his shit out on me). so we get home...and instead of goin in the house after we get outta the car he gets all up in my face and continues screamin...so loud that even my brother heard and came outside to investigate. well by this time i'm cryin. so i run in the house and tell my mom....usually my only savior...who sticks up for me when my dad is in the wrong. so what if i don't drive how he wants? he still could've handled that so much better..had no right to scream the way he did.

well...fuck my mom. instead of stickin up for me...she has decided to give up. let him treat me like shit cuz she's worried about ur own problems. cuz she was like "u know what's happenin between us..this could be it. he could leave..and that'd be it." givin me the whole sob story about not wantin to be on her own...no money...house gone..blah blah blah. so what ur just gonna sit back and let ur daughter get verbally abused for no reason???? i hate my family. so ya...i'm so done. no more playin games...pretending to be nice..pretending like i like any of 'em. even my brother has turned against me..i can't tell him anythin without him runnin off to tell my mom. *sigh* can't wait to be gone. idc if anythin i do is stupid and childish..i really don't fuckin care. they've pushed me to this. so for now...i'm just......

done. with everything. with my family. guess i don't have one. oh well. i no longer claim them. hmmm...interesting feelin...knowin i have no family. whatever.
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everythin is fucked [Jan. 12th, 2006|11:34 pm]
*sigh* y can't i just once cut a break??? hmm???? ok so the past like week has been great. my father and i...r startin to get close again. it's been great. he was out of town today...back in houston on business...and my mom just told me not too long ago....that his transfer was finalized today. by the end of THIS MONTH, he'll be moved out....and in houston permanently. wtf. i'm still in shock over this news. how r they gonna take away the one parent i'm startin to get along with??? i knew he'd be movin eventually...but from what i had heard...it wouldn't be until AFTER i left for college. i was TRYIN to be all hopeful and think maybe he wouldn't leave...that it was just a possibility. idk what is gonna happen. cuz like...we're tight on money right now as it is. how the hell is my dad gonna support 2 households...pay for my brother to go to st. joe...and pay for my college????? HOW??? it's just not possible. so idk if i'm even gonna get to go. i may be stuck here now. i've got no clue. and i hate it. *sigh* wish it was my mom that got transfered. and with my dad gone...i've no clue what that will do to my parents' marriage. there may be a separation or divorce in the future. idk what is gonna happen to my family. at all. that scares me. so ya....everythin....is just.....fucked.
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come visit!!! [Dec. 16th, 2005|06:48 pm]
[mood |boredbored]

hey everyone i'm workin at hastings from 7-midnight tonight in books so come visit me if ya get the chance!!!!!!
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well.... [Dec. 15th, 2005|05:25 pm]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |Taking Back Sunday]

i am sick. and it sucks. the end.
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best song ever! [Dec. 8th, 2005|09:26 pm]
[mood |amusedamused]

ok so i was FORCED to go to my brother's silly little band concert tonight...which lasted a total of 2...yes that's right 2...hours. The choir performed before the band...and just as i started drifing in and out of consciousness...the most glorious song was sung by the men's choir...the 12 days AFTER christmas. i laughed my ass off it was so funny. and i have found the lyrics!!! i feel i must share this song with everyone cuz it's just...fuckin awesome. so here it is!!!

The first day after Christmas
My true love and I had a fight
And so I chopped the pear tree down
And burnt it, just for spite
Then with a single cartridge
I shot that blasted partridge
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

The second day after Christmas
I pulled on the old rubber gloves
And very gently wrung the necks
Of both the turtle doves
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

On the third day after Christmas
My mother caught the croup
I had to use the three French hens
To make some chicken soup

The four calling birds were a big mistake
For their language was obscene

The five golden rings were completely fake
and turned my fingers green.

The sixth day after Christmas
The six laying geese wouldn't lay
So I sent the whole darn gaggle to the

On the seventh day, what a mess I found
The seven swans-a-swimming all had drowned
My true love, my true love,
my true love gave to me.

The eighth day after Christmas
Before they could suspect
I bundled up the
Eight maids-a-milking
Nine ladies dancing
Ten lords-a-leaping
Eleven pipers piping
Twelve drummers drumming - well, actually I kept one of the dancing ladies -
And sent them back collect
I wrote my true love
"We are through, love!"
And I said in so many words
"Furthermore your Christmas gifts were for the Birds!"

like i said....best ever:) hee hee shot the partridge...wrung the necks of the doves...burned down the tree....that's a fun christmas if ya ask me! :-P
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(no subject) [Nov. 4th, 2005|04:55 pm]
[mood |sadsad]

idk what to do...i'm very upset right now. and no i don't wanna fuckin talk about it. the one person i DO want to talk to...wants nothing to do with me at the moment. idk how to handle this...i really don't. i can't keep letting people (especially some in particular) walk all over me and treat me like shit. Making me feel horrible all the time...always sad....always crying. But i really still like those people very much...and want to be around them. Only time i'd be truly happy is chillin with mj..but not much anymore. he is too depressed...and i hve no clue how to handle this. at all. thus my dilema. cuz idk sometimes it seems like they are doin this purposely so i will walk away...make the decision so they will not have to. very confusing. idk that i could do it...don't think i'd have the strength. but if things don't improve...i may have no choice. so either way...i'm fucked.
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